Saturday, August 20, 2005

the.lost.art.of.listening

I have a good friend who's basically in a horrible position right now. I cannot tell you how much I could learn from this woman. Through sobs and details of her gut-wrenching story, she tells me over and over again what she does to survive: pray unceasingly. Abused by sharp words, attacked by loneliness, and wrestling with big decisions, she tells me what she read in 1 John today, and starts to cry. In a distracted manner, I try to think of what to say as mosquitoes nibble my ankles and toes as I pace outside the coffee shop. After our second conversation, I stopped trying to solve her problems and just tried to listen. I realized how difficult this was for me, and she sensed it, and told me she didn't need answers. She just needed to share. That statement was incredibly freeing to me--I didn't feel pressured to spurt out Bible verses, and to say all the things a pastor's wife is supposed to say. I sensed the Lord telling me that I was to bear her burden with her, and to listen. Neither of which is going to be easy for me, I'm sure.

I feel convicted though, of late, that I should start to be more like the people I love to be around. It probably sounds selfish, but I love people who are good listeners! I don't like being interrupted, I don't like it when people have wandering eyes in conversation, and I don't like it when I'm sharing my heart and people just try to solve all of my problems. I love it when people remember little details of my life I've told them several weeks down the road, and when they ask questions that just unravel my core and help me to discover more about myself and the Lord. I hope I can grow into this kind of person, and soon! But I guess that's where praying unceasingly comes in--that which I've seen lived out in the life of a dear friend.

1 comment:

Kate McDonald said...

britt...

boy do i feel you on this girlfriend...its so hard to really just be there for someone without trying to be God to them...i find myself doing that all the time...sadly enough..its always arrogance on my part...thinking i can change someone..lately God has been teaching me the same thing- to be quiet! i mean literally in situations i feel the Lord closing my mouth and its been on the hardest things EVER! i will pray for you and your friend as journey together and learn..

you are an amazing woman, britt...your heart andwords inspire me!

kate